Dear Friends and Family:
"I'm here!! Don't pay the ransom!" Actually I've been here the whole time, but have fallen into some unexplainable lethargy. I get up late, eat a little, wander about the house aimlessly, fall back into bed for another hour or so. No pain; nothing really wrong with me, except that I have no oomph to accomplish anything.
"So what's wrong with that?" you ask. "If that's all you have to do, then that's all you have to do. Take it easy."
Well, that's not I have to do, but that's about all I'm allowed to do. If I do go outside, I see all the things in the yard and garden that need attention...but I'm not supposed to be in the sun or play in the dirt (pollens and bacteria). I can take walks or ride my bike, but that's circular...like a critter in a hampster run. I have in my mind lots of things to do, but I can't do them.
I'm mindful of a book by the Russian author Goncharov entitled "Oblamov." (There was a term created for such a man and his condition: "Oblamovism.") Oblamov was the pampered son of a wealthy land owner. He moved to the big city and was accustomed to the life of an aristocrat: he got up late, was fed and dressed by a servant, and only thought about what he should do in regard to the estate he eventually inherited. The first 140 pages of the book describe Oblamov's attempt to get out of bed (around 11a.m.) whilst pondering what to do about the report that he finally got around to reading. His estate manager was stealing him blind. While Oblamov mentally debates alternatives, he eventually sits up in bed and swings his feet over the side; his right foot searches for and eventually finds its slipper; more mental debate; left foot searches about, locates its slipper, begins scrunching into it...more debate...more scrunching...more debate...less scrunching...mental fatigue...no scrunching..."oh well, there's tomorrow"...one foot now free of its slipper, then both feet unfettered...and fall back into bed!!! I was going nuts as I tried to read this book! "Get your lazy @!#$#! out of bed!!
The upshot of the book is that Oblamov's German friend, who is a real type-A, eventually gets him out of bed, into the social stream, introduces him to a beautiful young lady, and now Oblamov's turning and burning, getting up about 6:30, to the great distress of his man-servant. About page 600, however, he's won the lady's heart and he begins to think about marriage; he starts pondering the implications and responsibilities of marriage and starts getting up later. As the rousings go from 7:30 to 8:30 to 9:30, my mind is screaming, "Oh no! Don't do that! GET UP!"
And Oblamov eventually returns to his former condition, only at the end of the book (page 700+), he has married his shapless former housekeeper who is content to let him sleep all day. The German friend marries the beautiful lady and is very successful in every venture. And after slugging my way through the wretched book, Dick Grant never took another nap for about the next two years!!!
In contrast to that, as I seem to sleep many times during the day, I have to remind myself, I am a "human being," not a "human doing." There are times when it is my job to "abide," not to "accomplish." In my waiting upon Him, God will accomplish what needs to be done.
And He has been doing that. Last week's report from the doctor was both good news and not so good. All my test results are very encouraging. I doing great! What is discouraging to me is that I had hoped to get out and about in time for the men's retreat the 1st of October, the clergy conference a week or so later, and some neat things at the cathedral thereabouts. The truth is that my liberation date is not until day #100 from the transplant, and that is not until November 13. Phoooey!
I shall endevor to pull up out of this dip into Oblamovism and at least do this post more reliably. Thanks for your continued prayers and well wishes!
Faithfully in Christ,
Dick
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Blog #25 9/12/19 Remember where you were when...
Dear Ones:
Well, 9/11/10 came and passed with many folks remembering where they were and what they were doing on 09/11/01, and anticipating what 09/11/10 could bring if a misguided soul sparked a radical Muslin reaction to his burning 200 Korans: a negative recollection and an even worse negative anticipation.
I remember where I was on that first 9/11/01: I was scheduled to begin my first chemo therapy for mutiple myeloma, but was waved off by the last minute discovery that I had pneumonia (of which I was completely ignorant). I was thereupon ushered into the hospital for ten days of intense antibiotic therapy. Our youngest daughter accompanied me, and after getting "hooked up," I sat there in the bed with nothing to do, having exhausted every topic of conversation. "Shall we watch a game show?" she asked. "Sure, I shrugged. And all we saw on every channel were images of the collapsing towers. At first, I thought it was a moderization of the "War of the Worlds." It took a while for reality to sink in. And for the ten days I was in hospital, that's all there was to watch on t.v. Woe is me!
I have some other "do you remember where you were?" instances: (a) when Manilla fell to the Japanese; (b) when Roosevelt died; (c) when Tuman defeated Dewey; (d) when North Korea invaded South Korea; (e) when the "Iron Curtain" was raised, and when it was dismantled. With excpetion of the last, each was accompanied by an even greater negative anticipation, most of them never realized.
I also remember where I was when I first was aware that the Lord had spoken to me through His Word. We had been involved with a Charismatic prayer group and I was struggling with the whole idea of the "gifts." I don't remember the provocation for my reading chapter 14 of John's gospel, but I well remember descending the stairs to our family room, when verse 12 stood out in my consciousness with clarion volume: "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I go to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it." (John 14:12-14 NIV)
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and said aloud, "The Lord did not leave a powerless church when he went to His father." The penny fell!
I remember where I was when that happened! What a glorious "God-moment!" It has been followed by an ever developing anticipation of how that's going to be lived out, not just in my life, but in the lives of the Church! That's exactly what happened to the two men on their way to Emmaus; Jesus opened their minds to the truth of scripture. And they never forgot where they were when that happened!
I hope you have had such an experience where you can quickly bring to mind the circumstances when you heard the Lord clearly. If that proves difficult, then just go to a memory when you felt absolute peace, and ask Jesus where He was in that instance. It's a place to start, and a good place to remeber where you were when you discovered His presence.
Pressing on toward the mark, I remain
your brother in Christ,
Dick
Well, 9/11/10 came and passed with many folks remembering where they were and what they were doing on 09/11/01, and anticipating what 09/11/10 could bring if a misguided soul sparked a radical Muslin reaction to his burning 200 Korans: a negative recollection and an even worse negative anticipation.
I remember where I was on that first 9/11/01: I was scheduled to begin my first chemo therapy for mutiple myeloma, but was waved off by the last minute discovery that I had pneumonia (of which I was completely ignorant). I was thereupon ushered into the hospital for ten days of intense antibiotic therapy. Our youngest daughter accompanied me, and after getting "hooked up," I sat there in the bed with nothing to do, having exhausted every topic of conversation. "Shall we watch a game show?" she asked. "Sure, I shrugged. And all we saw on every channel were images of the collapsing towers. At first, I thought it was a moderization of the "War of the Worlds." It took a while for reality to sink in. And for the ten days I was in hospital, that's all there was to watch on t.v. Woe is me!
I have some other "do you remember where you were?" instances: (a) when Manilla fell to the Japanese; (b) when Roosevelt died; (c) when Tuman defeated Dewey; (d) when North Korea invaded South Korea; (e) when the "Iron Curtain" was raised, and when it was dismantled. With excpetion of the last, each was accompanied by an even greater negative anticipation, most of them never realized.
I also remember where I was when I first was aware that the Lord had spoken to me through His Word. We had been involved with a Charismatic prayer group and I was struggling with the whole idea of the "gifts." I don't remember the provocation for my reading chapter 14 of John's gospel, but I well remember descending the stairs to our family room, when verse 12 stood out in my consciousness with clarion volume: "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I go to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it." (John 14:12-14 NIV)
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and said aloud, "The Lord did not leave a powerless church when he went to His father." The penny fell!
I remember where I was when that happened! What a glorious "God-moment!" It has been followed by an ever developing anticipation of how that's going to be lived out, not just in my life, but in the lives of the Church! That's exactly what happened to the two men on their way to Emmaus; Jesus opened their minds to the truth of scripture. And they never forgot where they were when that happened!
I hope you have had such an experience where you can quickly bring to mind the circumstances when you heard the Lord clearly. If that proves difficult, then just go to a memory when you felt absolute peace, and ask Jesus where He was in that instance. It's a place to start, and a good place to remeber where you were when you discovered His presence.
Pressing on toward the mark, I remain
your brother in Christ,
Dick
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Blog #24 09/06/10 "Ora Labora"
Dear Family and Friends:
"Ora Labora" is the tune name for the hymn that begins, "Come, labor on. Who dares stands idle on the harvest plain, while all around us waves the golden grain?" A nice guilt-laden song which of late has been banging around my little pea-brain. I guess part of my discomfiture is not so much physical as mental, as I wait idly for this old carcass to get some stamina. There is so much that needs doing, but I can't cut the mustard. While I have no particular complaint, I just don't have the oomph to do very much at all, even to read! So, you guys will have to labor on; I'll just have to watch, for now!
Last week's venture to the doctor's office revealed that things are going along swimingly and all blood counts are now back to normal. I don't even have to report in to the clinic this week! Whoopie! Even so, I am still cautioned about being around crowds without a mask. I can even drive with Amy in the passenger seat! Alleluia!
Time marches on; I'll be out and about 'ere long. Your cards and emails are always a blessing! Thanks for you prayers and encouragement!
Much love in Christ,
Dick
"Ora Labora" is the tune name for the hymn that begins, "Come, labor on. Who dares stands idle on the harvest plain, while all around us waves the golden grain?" A nice guilt-laden song which of late has been banging around my little pea-brain. I guess part of my discomfiture is not so much physical as mental, as I wait idly for this old carcass to get some stamina. There is so much that needs doing, but I can't cut the mustard. While I have no particular complaint, I just don't have the oomph to do very much at all, even to read! So, you guys will have to labor on; I'll just have to watch, for now!
Last week's venture to the doctor's office revealed that things are going along swimingly and all blood counts are now back to normal. I don't even have to report in to the clinic this week! Whoopie! Even so, I am still cautioned about being around crowds without a mask. I can even drive with Amy in the passenger seat! Alleluia!
Time marches on; I'll be out and about 'ere long. Your cards and emails are always a blessing! Thanks for you prayers and encouragement!
Much love in Christ,
Dick
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Blog #23 9/01/10 Slowly! Slowly! Easy does it!
Dear Friends and Family:
Another week gone by...slowly...yet it is really hard to believe that I entered the hospital to begin the transplant process a month ago! Time passes by even when you're not having fun!
And God bless Amy! She takes such good, patient care of me! As I told someone else, she reminds me of a patient mother who restrains her crawling baby boy who scrambles to the edge of the bed (and a certin fall) by grasping his leg or his nightie and hauls him back to safety: "Whoa now, Dick! Not so fast!"
Yesterday, Amy did take me out to Lowes, to Bed Bath and Beyond, and to the grocery store. I was estatic! But, I came home and slept for a couple hours!
My last two doctor's visits have both indicated the stem cells are reproducing into the right number of appropriate cells, etc. etc.! Yea God! This is stem cell Day #26 and on day #30 they do some more extensive blood work. Day #60, we do a restaging which is a soup-to-nuts peekie-peekie at all systems, including a bone marrow biopsy. (Though it hurts like fury, I'm really looking forward to it!)
All that's left to do now is sit patiently while my stem cells continue to grow and my bald pate attempts reforrestation. It's been two weeks since I mowed and shaved my head, and I don't even have a 12 o'clock shadow! I do see, however, a few little nubs in front of my ears (where sideburns used to dwell). But, that will take some serious time and growth before I can do a comb-over with them! Meanwhile, I look like a taxi with its doors open! Ah, vanity, vanity!
Thanks again for all your prayers, cards, and encouragement!
Your brother in Christ,
Dick
Another week gone by...slowly...yet it is really hard to believe that I entered the hospital to begin the transplant process a month ago! Time passes by even when you're not having fun!
And God bless Amy! She takes such good, patient care of me! As I told someone else, she reminds me of a patient mother who restrains her crawling baby boy who scrambles to the edge of the bed (and a certin fall) by grasping his leg or his nightie and hauls him back to safety: "Whoa now, Dick! Not so fast!"
Yesterday, Amy did take me out to Lowes, to Bed Bath and Beyond, and to the grocery store. I was estatic! But, I came home and slept for a couple hours!
My last two doctor's visits have both indicated the stem cells are reproducing into the right number of appropriate cells, etc. etc.! Yea God! This is stem cell Day #26 and on day #30 they do some more extensive blood work. Day #60, we do a restaging which is a soup-to-nuts peekie-peekie at all systems, including a bone marrow biopsy. (Though it hurts like fury, I'm really looking forward to it!)
All that's left to do now is sit patiently while my stem cells continue to grow and my bald pate attempts reforrestation. It's been two weeks since I mowed and shaved my head, and I don't even have a 12 o'clock shadow! I do see, however, a few little nubs in front of my ears (where sideburns used to dwell). But, that will take some serious time and growth before I can do a comb-over with them! Meanwhile, I look like a taxi with its doors open! Ah, vanity, vanity!
Thanks again for all your prayers, cards, and encouragement!
Your brother in Christ,
Dick
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